


I Am Your Sunshine

by GayApril16



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little bit of angst, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Crying, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Sings, Feels, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hugs, Idiots in Love, M/M, Men Crying, No Smut, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Some fluff maybe, Song Lyrics, Song: You Are My Sunshine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayApril16/pseuds/GayApril16
Summary: Dean has been calling Cas ‘sunshine’ for a while now, and Cas is puzzled as to why—after all, he in no way resembles the sun’s electromagnetic emissions. He finally gets his answer when he comes back to the bunker early in the morning after a hunt—an answer which starts something beautiful.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 9
Kudos: 190





	I Am Your Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve always loved the song You Are My Sunshine, and that and the scene where Dean calls Cas sunshine inspired this fic.  
> Enjoy!  
> ❤️

“Mornin’ sunshine,” was the greeting that met Cas every morning as Dean found him in various rooms of the bunker. The nickname had startled Cas at first—not only was it surprisingly affectionate for Dean, but it had seemingly come out of nowhere. Cas in no way resembled the emissions of the sun—though, perhaps his grace did in a way—and even after weeks of thinking Cas hadn’t been able to puzzle it out. Eventually he had given it up, content to simply enjoy the apparent term of endearment. Not that Dean admitted that it was anything more than a nickname, but Cas wasn’t so obtuse that he couldn’t realize that it was obviously special. It was a nickname specifically reserved for Dean’s use—not once had Sam or anyone else ever called Cas ‘sunshine’. 

Dean used it fairly liberally and with increasing frequency. The once-a-day occurrence had grown into multiple times a day—as a matter of fact, Cas couldn’t remember when Dean had last used his actual name, shortened or otherwise. Sure, he did when talking to Sam, but whenever he addressed Cas directly, it was always ‘sunshine’.

After nearly a year, Cas finally got his explanation, but not in the way he’d ever expected.

It’d been the early hours of the morning, and Cas had just gotten back from a hunt. Not actively requiring rest, he’d decided to come straight home—hence the odd hour of his arrival. He was careful to make sure that the front door made no noise—a major feat—then carefully descended the stairs.

It was at this point that the most beautiful sound Cas had ever heard echoed gently through the bunker. Cas’ breath caught. The rich baritone voice carried the notes gently but strongly, each clear and perfectly pitched. The echoing was distorting the music just enough that Cas couldn’t make out the lyrics, but he almost didn’t care. The melody was beautiful, almost like a lullaby.

But who was singing? Sam was a tenor—surprisingly enough—and wasn’t really one to sing. And Dean—well, as much as Cas cared for the hunter, Cas had heard Dean’s ear-grinding excuse for singing more times than he had been able to count. 

Almost regretfully, Cas dropped his angel blade into his hand. He moved silently and quickly down the hallway to the kitchen—the origin of the music.

But when he reached the doorway, he froze. Because it was _Dean_ singing. The hunter had his back to Cas, doing something with various foods. He was still dressed in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt—distinctly lacking the layers Cas had grown more than accustomed to seeing—and his feet were bare. He was swaying slightly, gently rocking his hips in time to the song he sang.

And the _music_ . . . Dean’s voice was like smooth honey and the pull of the ocean’s tides, all at once. The notes that spilled from his lips were more than natural, they were _effortless_ , and as the gentle song lifted to its highest note he held it easily, his voice never wavering except for the slight vibrato he added just before he fell silent. He must have reached the end of the song, as there was a longer-than-normal pause before he started singing again.

And this time, Cas listened to the words.

“ _The other night dear, as I lay sleeping_

_I dreamed I held you in my arms_

_But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_

_So I hung my head and I cried._ ”

A beautiful sentiment, Cas thought, but the next verse—the _chorus_ —made him stiffen in surprise.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away._ ”

Cas’ heart was pounding so loudly that he was surprised that Dean didn’t hear it. Was this what Dean meant when he called him sunshine? That . . . 

Cas didn’t finish the thought, the hope that he’d buried for so long blossoming in his chest without permission. Still unaware of Cas’ presence, Dean kept singing.

“ _I'll always love you and make you happy_

_If you will only say the same_

_But if you leave me and love another_

_You'll regret it all some day._ ”

That had already happened, in a twisted, screwed-up way. All those years ago, Cas had chosen the power of the souls from Purgatory over Dean—and he _did_ regret it. Massively. That choice—that road—was probably the biggest regret of Cas’ entire life.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_You told me once, dear, you really loved me_

_And no one else could come between_

_But now you've left me and love another_

_You have shattered all of my dreams._ ”

That verse was perhaps a little less on-point to them than the last one, but the emotion Dean put behind it was real. The sadness and desperation that came with a hope that was given up on was raw, almost tangible, and in that instant Cas _knew_. Knew that Dean had loved him for a long, long time, but that he had given up on that hope ever becoming a reality—just like Cas had. And Dean poured that hopelessness, that desperation and grief into those words, and Cas felt like he was being torn apart. Stabbed, at the very least, right through the heart. 

Distantly, Cas realized that his face was wet. 

Dean’s voice softened again with the chorus, becoming tender and warm. 

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away._ ”

Dean’s hands stilled, whatever food he was preparing seemingly forgotten as his breath hitched. For a moment, Cas wondered if that was the end of the song, but then Dean took a deep breath and launched into the final verse. But instead of the gusto Cas had expected, his voice was quiet and soft, as if he were confessing something that he’d never spoken about before. Something that he tried to ignore. 

“ _In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me_

_When I awake my poor heart pains_

_So when you come back and make me happy_

_I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame._ ”

And that, right there, was Dean, wasn’t it? Always blaming himself for everything that ever went wrong, always having nightmares about the past. He’d forgiven Cas over and over while somehow managing to shift the blame for Cas’ mistakes onto himself, shouldering a burden that joined with the dozens of others that he shouldn’t have had to carry. 

Cas was crying, every fiber of his being in pain. This was Dean— _his_ Dean, the Righteous Man that Castiel had failed so many times, just as he was failing him now. Because no matter how much Cas wanted to run to the hunter, to hold him and kiss him senseless and promise him that he didn’t have to hurt anymore, he simply stood, transfixed. Tears were streaming down his face, and Cas was fairly sure that he was no longer breathing because there was _no_ way that Dean wouldn’t have already heard him otherwise.

Dean’s voice strengthened for the final chorus, but he also slowed, placing emphasis on the lines that he’d already repeated many times.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away._ ” Dean’s perfect voice broke on the last word, and he let out a shuddering sigh, running a hand down his face.

For a long moment, Cas closed his eyes, thinking. Then he had an idea, and softly, hesitantly—his singing voice was nowhere near as good as Dean’s—sang his own words.

“ _I am your sunshine, your only sunshine_

_I’ll stay by you through every day_

_You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_I will never go away._ ”

The last note hung in the air. Cas bit the inside of his lip, suddenly wondering if he’d made a fatal error. Dean had stiffened as soon as Cas had started singing, freezing in place. With his back still to Cas, Cas couldn’t make out any expression, any indication of how he was feeling or what he was thinking.

The moment held, then was broken as Dean moved, heaving out a shuddering sob. “ _Cas._ ”

And then Cas was across the room, pulling Dean into his arms as Dean turned and buried his face in Cas’ shoulder. He was crying, his shoulders shaking as his entire body heaved in Case arms, but Cas was crying too, more tears than he had ever thought possible streaming down his cheeks. Cas had his arms looped around Dean’s neck, one hand buried in the hair on the back of the hunter’s head. Dean, in turn, was hugging Cas’ torso so tightly that it probably would have hurt had Cas not been an angel. 

They stood there, holding each other and crying. Cas closed his eyes, completely unsure of what exactly they were crying about. The pain of the past, maybe, about all of the crap they’d been through, about all of the people they’d lost. Or maybe about all of the time that they had lost because they were too stubborn to yank their heads out of the sand, the time that could’ve been filled with more of _them_ , together. Or maybe, maybe it was just the sheer relief at letting all of the emotions they’d buried over the last near-decade finally come to the surface, the sheer amount of them overwhelming them. Or maybe it was none of those things, but something more precious that could only be conveyed by them holding each other all the tighter.

After Cas didn’t know how long their sobs finally quieted, their bodies became still. Slowly, Cas slipped his hand from the back of Dean’s head to cup his jaw as he gently pushed the hunter away. Almost reluctantly Dean straightened to his full height, somehow managing to lean into Cas’ touch at the same time. The hunter’s eyes were red and swollen, his face streaked with tears, and Cas couldn’t remember him ever looking so beautiful. 

“Cas,” Dean whispered, his voice full of so many things that were still unsaid.

“Dean,” Cas murmured back. Then he was leaning forward, pressing his lips against Dean’s. The kiss was sweet and strong and a little bit salty from their tears, but their mouths were moving in sync and it was tender and _beautiful_.

Dean was the one to pull away, reminding Cas that humans needed to breathe as he gently gasped, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I’m sor—” Dean started softly. Cas cut him off, pressing their lips together a bit more fiercely this time.

“You have _nothing_ to apologize for, Dean Winchester,” Cas growled as he pulled away, creating just enough room so he could speak. “ _Nothing_.” He pulled Dean into another hug, and this time it was Cas’ turn to bury his face in Dean’s shoulder. Dean smelled like leather and gunpowder and a little bit like beer, a combination that Cas would never have imagined enjoying but immediately fell in love with because it was so _Dean_. 

“My angel,” Dean mumbled.

“Your sunshine,” Cas added softly. “Just like you’re mine.”

Dean murmured in agreement. 

Cas didn’t know who started it, but after a few minutes they started humming the song together, holding each other as they swayed in place. It was still way too early in the morning, but things were better now. All Cas could think as he held his hunter, humming a harmony along with Dean’s melody, was that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLOSURE: I wrote the extra verse that Cas sings, but the rest of You Are My Sunshine is credited to Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> ❤️


End file.
